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Arr! Today it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and in honour o’this grand occasion, I decided to present to ye all the tale of me own Talk Like a Pirate Day, or perhaps I should say the History classes’ Talk Like a Pirate Day, rather’n one solely for meself. Regardless, an amusin’ story awaits those who read past this initial ramblin’ paragraph — helped in no small part by the piratin’ manner in which I’m talkin’. Writin’ smartly, now:

For those takin’ History at me high school, today was a day o’bitter disappointment. Me History teacher, that lowdown stinkin’ liar, promised us all a grand display of piratin’ talk. To start, he’d wanted only to make th’year twelve class write th’event i’their planners, but on account of th’indisputable fact that th’year elevens in that class began t’relive their memories of Talk Like a Pirate Day 2007, he changed his plans. “Avast! As a pirate I can blow that wench’s performance clear out of the sea!” he cried, only a wee bit less pirate-like, since it wasn’t Talk Like a Pirate Day on Monday. “I’ll be a pirate of the persuasion that piratin’ be no barrier to bein’ a good citizen.”

“Arr, ye good-for-nothin’ landlubber!” replied those scallywags of the year twelve History class, in a similarly less pirate-like manner. “Ye can never hope to match the performance t’which we were entreated last year. No buccaneer worth his name has ever been a ‘good citizen’!” Me History teacher, perhaps feelin’ rather put upon, continued t’swear on his life he’d meet th’expectations his predecessor left with us all. He spent the week deep in preparation — at least, that be the tale he put about. We History students, we spent the week lookin’ forward to this excitin’ day, and the dedicated piratin’ we knew would spring thenceforth. Read More »